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Not Just the Baby Blues: What New Parents Need to Know About Postpartum Anxiety
- Angela Marchant
- Nov 27
- 6 min read
by Jenna Congdon, RN, BSN brightsidewriting.com
“When you have a new baby, they only sleep for short stretches. You’re so exhausted, you can’t wait for them to finally sleep for longer. But when my daughter finally did start sleeping for longer periods, I was so worried something was wrong. I found myself constantly checking on her or sometimes even waking her up just to make sure she was okay”. - Alex
“I kept imagining myself falling down the stairs and landing on top of my son. I couldn’t convince myself to carry him down the stairs”. - Laura
“We didn’t have a big support system. It was just my partner and I, which wasn’t enough. We didn’t have grandparents or friends to fall back on. Plus, breastfeeding was so much more difficult than I ever expected. It was a very stressful and challenging time for us”. -Mia
“I had a very major, very scary health concern come up toward the end of my second pregnancy. My son had to be delivered via unplanned c-section, and I immediately started treatment. It took an already complicated transition (having a new baby), and turned it into a terrifying, wild ride”. - Leslie
If any of these stories are familiar, you’re not alone. The postpartum period is an emotional time, even in the best of circumstances. Your body, mind, and lifestyle undergo remarkable - and sometimes unexpected - changes. Relationships shift, responsibilities grow, and logistics get complicated. The joy of finally meeting your new addition mixes with grief for the way life used to be. Awe and love layer with exhaustion and confusion. The expectation that this “should” be a happy time may feel muddled by anxiety and depression. Fears you never expected pop up out of nowhere, and your fuse feels ridiculously short.
Full stop: all of this is normal. You’re definitely not broken. You might just need a little extra support.
You may have heard people talk about postpartum depression. The “other” postpartum mental challenge that seems to get less attention is postpartum anxiety. The signs may be subtle, or quite obvious, but parents and sometimes health care practitioners brush it aside as “just typical new parent worries."
What is Postpartum Anxiety?
The problem is, postpartum anxiety is not something you can just ignore in hopes it will go away. (Much like the regular, everyday version of anxiety. We’ve all tried that, haven’t we?). Anxiety can exist with or without postpartum depression. It shows up as excessive fear or worry during the period after birth. Parents may experience overwhelming or intrusive thoughts about the baby’s health and safety, and find themselves imagining scenarios that are unlikely to happen. They may have difficulty sleeping, get angry easily, cry frequently, or feel panicked. Physical symptoms may pop up, like a racing heart, nausea, or dizziness. Some parents may feel a constant sense of danger or “something wrong”, but be unable to explain exactly why. They may avoid leaving the baby with anyone else even for a short time, or feel the need to tightly control every small thing related to the baby’s care. You might feel restless, irritable, or like you “just can’t shut off the worried thoughts”.
These experiences are common: 11-21% of parents reported challenging levels of anxiety soon after baby was born. New parenthood is certain to bring on new stressors, but this doesn’t mean that postpartum anxiety should be ignored. If you’re feeling high levels of anxiety as you navigate caring for a newborn, advocate for yourself. New parent fears may be “typical”, but that doesn’t mean they shouldn’t be addressed. A little self-compassion may be necessary: you deserve the help, and it’s okay to speak up.
Why Have I Only Heard About Postpartum Depression?
Lots of people talk about the “baby blues” or postpartum depression. The baby blues happen for just a week or two after birth because of shifting hormones. You might feel moody, overwhelmed, or sad. When these symptoms continue for longer or become more severe, you may be diagnosed with postpartum depression.
Postpartum anxiety is a bit different. While depression involves feeling flat, sad, hopeless, or disinterested, anxiety is based on fears and worries. In the past, this was chalked up to parents just feeling worried about taking good care of the baby. Now, we know that postpartum depression and anxiety can have a significant impact on both parent and baby. You may experience both postpartum anxiety and depression, or just one.
Am I At Risk?
Postpartum anxiety can happen to anyone, but it does follow some predictable patterns.
All birthing parents experience hormone shifts after delivery. This can contribute to mood swings and negative emotions.
Sleep deprivation makes anyone feel off. Newborn babies require multiple feedings every night. When you’re running on little sleep, it’s easy to feel run down and anxious.
Being diagnosed with anxiety or depression pre-birth or having a history of other mental health conditions puts you at higher risk for postpartum anxiety and/or depression.
A traumatic birth experience makes you more likely to face mental health challenges later on.
If you don’t have a good support system after birth, it can be hard to cope. It truly does take a village to raise a baby, and it can be both disappointing and exhausting if you find yourself without friends and family to help.
Having an unhelpful, unsupportive, or abusive partner or family member or experiencing an unstable home life can set you up for feeling depressed and anxious post-birth.
An unplanned or unwanted birth can make it more challenging to adapt to life as a new parent.
Unexpected challenges with breastfeeding, health issues for parent or baby, or other hurdles can raise feelings of frustration or hopelessness.
The non-brithing parent or partner can also experience anxiety or depression after the baby is born. The biggest risk factors are being younger, having relationship problems, or struggling financially. Help is available for these parents, too.
When to Get Help
Feeling some level of stress or anxiety as a new parent is normal, but when should you seek help? Don’t let your symptoms go untreated if they last longer than two weeks. If you’re experiencing panic attacks, intrusive thoughts, or having symptoms of psychosis, get help immediately. Trying to wait or “tough it out” often just means your symptoms will stay the same or possibly get worse.
If you’re not sure where to start, reach out to your primary care doctor. The doctors at The Midwest Center for Breastfeeding Medicine are here for you as well. Ask friends and family for help; often specific asks like cleaning house or dropping of meals can alleviate burden of "handling it all." Talk to a therapist or mental health professional, or look into the following resources:
Treatment and Support Options
There are lots of options for treating postpartum anxiety.
Working with a therapist, whether in person or via video appointments.
Participating in a support group. You can build friendships with other people in the support group, and help each other.
Using medication to manage symptoms. These are generally safe to use while breastfeeding, but be sure to work with a doctor to find a prescription that’s right for you.
Get your partner and family involved, if you’re able to do so. Share how you’re feeling, and come up with a list of ways they can make you feel safe and supported.
Tips for Coping at Home
Simple lifestyle changes can alleviate anxiety symptoms.
Try to establish a daily routine, and get as much sleep as you’re able to. Nap when baby naps!
Eat healthy food and stay hydrated.
Get in some light exercise each day, if you’re physically well.
Cut back on your scrolling time. Social media can worsen anxiety.
Practice relaxation techniques, and use gentle words when you talk to yourself.
Delegate tasks as often as you can, so that you can focus on rest.
Remember, the goal is to bond with your baby, not perform perfectly.
You’re Definitely Not Alone
Postpartum anxiety and depression are real, valid, and treatable conditions. They aren’t weaknesses or character flaws, and they certainly aren’t your fault. Struggling with heavy emotions post-birth does not mean that you are failing as a parent. It’s tough, and nobody wants to feel this way, but it may help to remind yourself that these emotional challenges can be viewed as a complication of birth. It has no more reflection on you as a person and as a parent than if you experienced a physical complication.
If you’re feeling down, start by telling someone. Give yourself grace and compassion, and don’t be afraid to ask for help.
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